Egonomics – by David Marcum & Steven Smith
The word ego has a negative reputation and usually equated to words such as “inflated sense of self importance,” “arrogant,” “self-centered,” “insecure,” “close minded,” “defensive,” “conceited,” “condescending” etc.
In one of the experiments, people were asked to take part in a “bidding war.” Individuals were paired and were asked to compete with each other in bidding for one dollar. The goal was to get that dollar for less than a dollar but one could spend up to five dollars to get one dollar. People were split into two groups. People in Group-A were told, “If you are the kind of person who usually chokes under pressure, or you don’t think that you have what it takes to win the money, then you might want to play it safe. But it’s up to you!” Group-B wasn’t given any instructions. As the bidding soared, the people in Group-A, who had received the “ego threat,” let their bids escalate higher in almost every instance – spending $3.71 to buy one dollar.
This sort of decision making plays out every day in all aspects of our professional and personal lives. We throw good money after bad; entrepreneurs stay engaged in unprofitable projects; CEOs buy companies because they get locked into escalating bidding war (also referred to as the “winners curse”). Organizations are rarely short of people with enough talent, drive, desire, IQ, imagination, vision, education and experience. The issue is too much ego – costing companies millions, and in some cases, billions of dollars.
Is ego all bad? Not really. On the positive side, ego is an asset. It sparks a drive to achieve; and tenacity to conquer setback. Words such as “self-confidence,” “self-esteem,” “open-minded,” “ambitious,” and “confidence” come up. In fact, lack of ego can lead to insecurity, hollow participation, and apathy.
In the book “Good to Great,” Jim Collins describes “Level 5” leader as someone with 1) intense professional will, and 2) extreme personal humility. Collins deals with the question … what allows ego to take their organization to good, but without humility never allow them to move to great? Why does it appear that ego is something we must have if we want to succeed, but having it often interferes with the success we pursue? Can we learn to be humble? Can ego and humility coexist?
As individuals, we have a number of personality traits. These include: Assertive, flexible, charismatic, decisive, optimistic, courageous, etc. When we don’t mange the intense power of ego, these same traits become weaknesses. For example:
Strength Weakness
Charismatic
Paints a vision; inspires others; keeps people motivated.
Manipulates bad ideas to sound good; substance for style.
Dedicated
Doesn’t let obstacles overcome the end in mind; finds a way to get things done.
Wouldn’t consider alternatives; resists change; cuts off creativity in the name of “getting things done.”
Optimistic
Keep things in perspective; can help people get through difficult times.
Wouldn’t listen to bad news; rejects bad news as a lack of faith.
Diplomatic
Invites diversity; understands the dynamics of group process and facilitates discussion.
Becomes political; creates division and sets people against each other; focuses on who wins than on which idea is the best.
Ego Balance Sheet
The book describes 4 warning signs of out of balance ego and three ways to overcome it.
Warning Signs:
Being Comparative: “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something,” wrote C.S. Lewis, “only out of having more of it than the next man.” In being comparative, we fixate on someone else and it makes us less competitive. (“Every man in the world is better than someone else and not as good as someone else.”)
Being Defensive: As we move up the leadership ranks and become visible, we are expected to be “perfect.” It is as if we are not allowed to have flaws … leading to being defensive. There is a vital difference between defending an idea and being defensive. The motive behind defending an idea is to let the best argument win. When we are defensive, we defend our position and who we are.
Showcasing Brilliance: Showcasing isn’t about making our brilliance visible – it’s about making it the center of attention. The more we want or expect people to recognize, appreciate, or be dazzled by how smart we are, the less they listen, even if we do have better ideas.
Seeking Acceptance: Leadership is best reserved for those who don’t need a leadership position to validate who they are. Being aware of what people think is a sign of great leadership. Becoming oversensitive to what people think of us keeps us from being true to ourselves. Tom Brokaw once said, “Here is a secret that non one has told you: Life is a junior high. The world that you are about to enter is filled with junior high, adolescent pettiness; pubescent rivalries; the insecurities of 13 year olds; and the false bravado of 14 year olds.”
Three principles of egonomics:
Humility: A characteristic of humility is constructive discontent. Without causing loss of confidence of lessening the importance of what we have achieved, humility craves the next level of performance.
Curiosity drives exploration of ideas. Curiosity gives us permission and courage to test what we think, feel, believe to be true … reminding us we don’t know everything about everything.
Veracity is the habitual pursuit of and adherence to truth. It helps make the undiscussable discussable and closes the gap between what we think is going on and what’s really going on.
I particularly liked the visualization – imagine two end of ego spectrum (“ego empty” and “egotistical”) as two magnets and you in the middle. You are constantly pulled to one side or the other. At the center (and only at the very center), the magnetic pull has little effect. As you deviate from the center, you slowly get pulled towards one or the other end; the stronger we get pulled; and the harder it is to make it back to the center.
The key is to constantly check your-self and stay balanced – by constantly practicing Humility, Curiosity and Veracity.
